My happy medium ( and probably yours too)

It's not often that I read something and get all "fired up."
For the most part I'm able to separate the things I don't agree with into a box in my head that's labeled "not for me" lol.
I'm always concerned with offending someone or not wanting to start a debate.. That's so not my style!
HOWEVER, this topic somehow keeps coming up in places like Facebook and Pinterest and various blogs.. I wanted to say MY peace on it and that's just what it is-- mine. I'm not trying to look down on anyone or their parenting style! I truly believe that us moms need to stick together regardless of how and when we play with our kids! I felt ok writing this mostly because I don't think anyone really reads most of what I post anyway.. Lol. So..if you are one of the few that are reading this- thanks! And I hope you don't take anything I write personally!
Ok, so here goes.. Recently, there was a blog floating around that was about all the moms out there who are "always" on their iPhones and not paying attention to their kids. This really struck a chord with me because well...yes I have an iPhone..and yes, I do look at it and well..yes I STILL pay attention to my kids! So there! Just kidding. :)
I realize that the person who wrote this wasn't talking about all of us. I'm sure she ment well..She did however make it very clear that as moms we should be putting our kids "first" before looking at our phones because we are probably and most certainly missing out on very important things that our children are doing... Yadda yadda.....
Ok... I get it.
THEN today I was SO happy to see another mom (or another blogger) write about how she disagrees with that. She wrote that how in today's age we have new technology that basically equals the same kind of thing that our own mom's were doing when we were kids...right on sister. Amen. Hallelujah.. All that. :) loved it.
THEN I remembered a blog I read quite some time ago..it was basically another one of those "guilt blogs" about how we don't play with our kids enough! She wasn't referring to moms that work outside of the home as much as she was to moms that stay home! I really wish I could remember where I saw that article, but she basically slammed stay at home moms saying "some of us" are more concerned with house cleaning, shopping, going to the gym.. Etc. Well needless to say it was quite offensive! I had it on the brain to write about it a while ago but I guess I was to busy spending time with my kids to do so! Haha..
Today my kids are with their grandparents because I've been sick.. Not to sick to write this though! :)
Anyway... I remember reading that and feeling really guilty! I was like jeeze.. maybe I don't "play" with them enough! Just what us moms need MORE guilt!
I began to think back to my own childhood. My mom did a beautiful job of setting boundaries.. First off, I have amazing parents and they LOVED to play with me and "watch me" and interact with me.. and all that stuff! The difference was they wouldn't STOP everything to do so.. I'm talking about the moms who will literally stop everything no matter what they're doing and go play dress-up or go build Legos.. It's not horrible by any means! I mean playing with your kids can't be bad! That's not what I'm getting at.. Just let me try and explain.. For example:
I always see things on Pinterest or Facebook about how playing with your kids is BY FAR the MOST important thing we could do and not to worry about doing any cleaning or ANYTHING else because after all, that stuff will still be there later.. or after they go to bed.. but our kids are going to be all grown up soon.. Blah blah blah.. ( do I sound horrible or what?)
I mean I "get it" to a certain extent.
I for one love playing with my kids but I also want to play with them on a freshly mopped floor! lol. (sorry but its true) And I also want to teach them that we have responsibilities in life! That of coarse we can play and have fun but that we also have things we have to DO sometimes!! Life isn't one big play date! If I just constantly put my kids first in everything what would that teach them? I believe it would teach them that the world revolves around them! ( my opinion!)
I don't know about you...but I want my kids to know that there are other things in this life besides them! ( Ooooh..i SAID IT!)
I want them to know that in "real" life people are NOT going to just stop whatever they are doing and put everything on hold just for them! I mean...its just not realistic.. that's not how life goes! So when they're in school and the teacher is grading papers or helping another classmate they will understand that they might not come first! They might actually have to wait and respect the teachers time!
Please, PLEASE do not get me wrong here.. I know I may come across sounding very harsh but that's not my intent. I promise! :)
Going back to my own childhood.. My mom did an amazing job of finding that "happy medium" There were times she would play with me but there were also times I knew that I needed to entertain myself.. such as: when she was on the phone, or when she was reading a book or sewing.. or working in the garden..Obviously...if there was something really important she would stop what she was doing! She NEVER told me I was "bothering her" I never felt like I came second or that I wasn't important! I just had respect for my mom and her personal time. :)
I remember my mom taking us to the park as a child and she would sit on the bench and maybe read or knit or talk with the other moms. It doesn't mean she wasn't paying attention to me or making sure I was safe. She was still VERY aware of when I wanted her to watch me do something, or when I wanted her to push me on the swing. On the other hand, I was also happy to play by myself and be a kid and use my imagination! I didn't need my mom's attention every second.
I guess I grew up knowing that my mom was my MOM and I was a KID... my mom was NOT my friend. Sounds harsh but it's just how it was! Sure, we played board games, cards, hide and seek.. But I didn't rely on her as a playmate because she made it clear that sometimes she just had "adult" things to do.. I never felt slighted or like I was missing something! Maybe it's because my mom was older..she was in her forties when I was little. She was from a totally different generation. One thing she DIDN'T do was make us feel like "children should be seen and not heard" actually it was the opposite! She quite often invited me into "her world" I would help her cook dinner or garden or get my book and sit beside her on the couch and read with her. I also had a pretend sewing machine I would get out whenever she had hers out. There is just no going all the way to either side ALL the time.. sometimes she'd get down to my level and sometimes I'd go up to hers.... I have a great friend back home and she quite honestly struggled with this! Over the years I have watched her master the skill of somehow finding time for it ALL.. She has found this balance.. Anyway I teeter on the verge of NOT playing with my kids enough and am always looking up to her because she is able to jump back and forth from "kid mode" to adult mode.
Also each child is different as we all know and I can imagine having one child vs multiple children makes a huge difference As well..Even though I am not an only child my sister was quite a bit older than me so I always just played by myself or with the neighbors. Like I said my mom played with me but not so much pretend play more like games and such:)
I remember my mom would have her best girlfriend come over sometimes and they would sit at the kitchen table and drink their coffee ( or sometimes wine!) I always respected them! I NEVER would have dreamed to ask her to stop talking to go "play" with me!
They did include me in their chats though and I remember feeling very grown up and would then go in my room and "pretend" to have coffee with one of my dolls or something!
In my VERY humble opinion kids should not rely on their parents as playmates. I should clarify I'm NOT talking about babies or even toddlers.. They obviously need our attention more then a five year old! There comes an age that our kids should be able to understand that just because we are their parents we are also PEOPLE!
I love my kids and I give them practically everything! If you were in my head you would know that probably 90% of my thoughts revolve around my children! I wake up thinking about them and go to bed thinking about them!
When my kids grow up they will have some pretty funny memories of their mom jumping on the trampoline with them or playing board games with them, playing Legos with them, coloring with them, blowing bubbles with them...there are so many things I do with them I could go on and on! I just hope that I can teach them as my mom did that there is a time and a place for everything.. Wow. I sound like my mom! :)
I guess just don't understand why we are encouraged to be these moms who are constantly staring at our children and making EVERYTHING they do a HUGE deal and quite honestly teaching them that they are the center of the universe. Reality check is they just aren't!
When you become a parent you realize just how completely self absorbed you were before you had kids.. We give SO much to our children! All of my friends do and I feel I do as well.. I am completely drained at the end of the day! I am still HAPPY to do it all over again the next:) That certainly doesn't mean that we can't stop paying attention to our kids from time to time to do something for ourselves.. It's OK people! Our children will be better off knowing that they don't need constant attention 24-7.. Of coarse if you NEVER play with your kids or show them attention that's not good either! Most of us though have been able to find a nice happy medium.. And THAT'S what I'm trying to say:)
Oh..and I personally don't even know any moms like this, which begs the question.. Where are they? WHO are they? Do they even exist? If not then please stop writing these quotes and blogs pretending that you are this super human mom who never stops even for one second to do anything that doesn't include her children! Lets all just be real with each other because anything else is just... Silly.

Taco soup

This tried and true recipe was given to me years ago from my dear friend Trish. She brought it to a work potluck and it was such a hit! I'm pretty sure we all begged her for the recipe! Thankfully, it's easy to make and easy on the pocketbook! Everyone I've ever made it for has asked me for the recipe and everyone they make it for asks THEM for it! You can either make it about an hour before you want to eat it or put it in the slow cooker and smell it's deliciousioness all day.. I like option two. My kids literally BEG for more, they LOVE it!

Ingredients:
1 lb ground turkey OR ground beef
1 onion, chopped
1 pkg taco seasoning
1pkg ranch dressing MIX
1 can of each:
Stewed tomatoes
Rotel tomatoes
Kidney beans
Pinto beans
Creamed corn
Golden hominy
Shredded cheddar cheese
FRITO chips

Directions
Brown meat with chopped onion in a large pot with some olive oil.
Add EVERYTHING together in the pot OR in a slow cooker. Do NOT drain the cans! This is very important!:)
If on the stove, bring to a boil then cover and simmer for 1 hour, make sure to stir frequently and scrape the bottom of the pot here and there
If in the slow cooker, just set to low for 6-8 hrs or high for 4-6 hrs
Add shredded cheese, and most important of all.. FRITOS!! Do NOT forget the FRITOS!!
I also like to add avocado and sour cream if I have them.. It is sooo delish!

Kettle corn

I love this stuff, it's the perfect combination of salty and sweet which just so happens to be my favorite flavor combo! The kids ask for it all the time and it makes a great little Christmas gift wrapped up in a pretty bag or in a popcorn tin.. It's SO easy but I always get asked "how did you make that!"
Hope you try it and love it!

ingredients
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup popcorn kernels
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon coarse salt
directions
In a large pot with a tight-fitting lid, heat the oil over medium-high heat. add the popcorn. When the oil sizzles, sprinkle the sugar over the kernels. Cover and shake the pan until the popping slows down, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and toss with the salt.

Bacon, veggie, parm Pasta bake

So we had the pleasure of spending the weekend at a lovely cabin with some old friends from my childhood. On the last night they made this yummy rotini pasta with chicken. It was good! So when I was looking for something for dinner tonight I thought of something similar. I REALLY need to go to the grocery store, we don't have any milk, chicken or pretty much anything else so this is what I came up with with what I had! I have to say sometimes when I don't follow a recipe and just go with my cooking gut ( no pun intended) I like my food better for some reason! So, I knew I'd never remember the ingredients unless I wrote it down somewhere so I figured might as well add it to the blog. I'm sure you can sub chicken for the bacon, I just didn't have any. I only use turkey bacon but if you used a good quality center cut pork bacon I'm sure it would be awesome! Also, some diced up ham would be really good!

1/2 lb turkey bacon
8 oz uncooked rotini pasta ( I used a little over half a small box )
2 C broccoli cut into pieces
I also threw in some frozen carrot matchsticks that I had from a stir fry mix) so whatever veggie you have, peas would be great too.
3 tbs butter
3 tbs flour
1 14 oz can chicken broth
1 c sour cream
1 c grated parm divided.
Salt
Pepper
Olive oil
Garlic powder

Set oven to 350
Start your water for the pasta
Fry the bacon crispy and then break up into pieces- set aside.
Sauté the veggies in some oil, sprinkle some salt, pepper and garlic powder on them. Maybe even a sprinkle of parm cheese if you want.
Once the veggies are getting soft throw the cooked bacon in with them. Sprinkle with more seasonings.
Take out of the pan and wipe down with a paper towel.
On low add the butter to the pan and once melted add the flour, whisk.
Add in the chicken broth SLOWLY while whisking to make a sauce.
Turn up heat a tad and let bubble up just for a second. Turn down to low and add sour cream.
Don't bring to a boil, just mix all around then add the parm cheese. Mix.
Take and drain your pasta
Add the veggie and bacon mix to the sauce.
Add the pasta to the pan with them and combine.
Transfer to a greased casserole dish and sprinkle the top with the rest of the parm cheese.
Put in heated oven for 20 min or until set.
Delish!

Parmesan and basil orzo with salmon and peas

I have this new obsession with orzo.. Have I told you that already? Anyway, found this orzo recipe on good ole pinterest and decided to add some salmon and a bit of peas to make a meal. Tell you what, it was SO delish! Ok...well the kids who LOVE salmon weren't to thrilled about it being mixed in with the pasta and stuff. So, I did give them their salmon on the side, but I promise they are just weird and it tastes so perfect all together! I have a hunch that this will be ahhh-mazzzzing tomorrow as cold salad! Mmmmmm..

Ing:
2 tbs butter
1 C uncooked orzo
1 14.5 oz can chicken broth
1/2 C grated parm cheese
1/4 C chopped fresh basil
2 med sized salmon filets
Olive oil
Salt and pepper
1C frozen peas

Directions
1.melt butter in large skillet over med high heat, add orzo, sauté until lightly browned
2.stir in chicken stock and bring to a boil. Cover. Reduce heat and simmer until orzo is tender. About 15 min.
3 while that's cooking get out your salmon. Brush with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Stick under the broiler for about 10-15 min. Until done.
4 when orzo is done, mix in parm cheese and basil. Add frozen peas. When the salmon is done break it up with a fork and add it in as well. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
5. Enjoy!!!

My five unseen answered prayers. (until now)

 For the last three years I have been obsessed with the idea of moving back to California. My husband and I both grew up in Northern Ca and moved  to AZ  almost 10 years ago! The idea of moving started a few years ago when I was watching an episode of a show on TLC called, "Little People BIG world" It's a show about a family where the parents are "little people" The funny thing is, they live in Oregon not California! It just put desire in my heart for things such as, trees, lakes, seasons and scenery that I have always considered more breathtaking than what I see here in Arizona. I started on this path of wanting to move, and then my best friend moved back to Ca after living in Az for a long time.. and then I REALLY wanted to move! During that time, I really wouldn't consider myself to be  living a "christian life" although I did always say "God MUST have a plan!" It was the only way I could rationalize her and her family moving away. There were two things I was ALWAYS asking God for, number One: that I would find friends here in Arizona. Number two: that I would find my faith again, which I had basicially walked away from a number of years ago. Here in my neighborhood I met a couple of girls who introduced me to the church I now attend, not only did they become GREAT friends ( Answered prayer number one) but after attending our church for a couple of years I can now say with ABSOLUTE certanity that God has and IS changing me because I have finally given my life to him and asked him to do WHATEVER he needs to do to make me more like him. And I am soo amazed everyday when I see him working in my life! PRAISE GOD!! (answered prayer number two)
 With all that being said...you'd think I would have acknowledged that God was  dutifully working on answering the first two prayers but NOOO.... I was already asking him for more! And this even before I was doing ANY work on my side! I was just asking away and then living my life according to MY standards.. the next couple of things I was  asking him for were, 1.) to have another baby, and 2.) help financially, so that I could quit the in-home daycare I was doing at the time. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a full time say at home mom  but at the time we couldn't afford for me to quit my job. Well... I found out I was pregnant in early November of 2009 (answered prayer number three)  Suddenly we were in the midst of a home loan mod and some other financial "issues" that all worked out in our favor! In the same few months my husband was offered some coaching jobs and also got a job delivering pizzas in his spare time. Now we had the freedom for me to quit doing my daycare and finally be a full fledged stay at home mom! (answered prayer number four) hmmm, looks like God was at work in our lives for sure right? BUT STILL I wasn't seeing these things as blessings from God!! I was just thinking it was ALL our own doing.. giving all the credit to pretty much anyone and everything BUT God! Wow, I feel so convicted about the fact that he was so faithful and so gracious all this time and I was totally blind to it all because I was so self absorbed and only thinking of what I wanted and not what God wanted.. which was ME. A verse that really puts this in perspective for me NOW is: " I will give you thanks, for you answered me, you have become my salvation" Psalm 118:21 After all this, I STILL wasnt getting it...THEN
 Last year on Easter Sunday I was in church service during praise time, I don't really know what it was that completely brought me to tears..I guess I was just thinking about everything God had done for me.  By that I don't  mean prayers answered because honestly, I don't think I had even acknowledged that at the time. I was just thinking about the fact that he went to the cross for ME for MY sins, even though this was something I "knew" my whole life, something that I had heard many times as a child in song and as an adult in church, I still never "got" it until this moment. I asked God to do WHATEVER he needed to do to change me, without any conditions, I literally begged him. I repented of my sin and just called on him to PLEASE come into my life and transform it! I.WAS.READY. Or so I thought....
A few weeks later...I woke up with EXCRUCIATING back pain..like scary pain because I had NO idea what was causing it. Long story short, cut to me in the hospital BEGGING God to take away the pain, accusing him of not recognizing the fact that I was doing "my part" ie: reading my bible, repenting of my sin, being kind to others..blah blah blah...( Some Christian right?) I was mad at him! horrible as that may sound, that was the truth. Somehow, even though I asked him to change me, told him no matter what he had to do TO CHANGE me, I still was trying to control the WAY he did it..As I was sitting there waiting for a DR to "HELLPPP MEEEE!!" as I was  yelling to everyone, I somehow found some peace in prayer..God lovingly showed me a image in my mind of him being  beaten and then nailed on a cross to die..I could NOT get that image out of my head no matter what. It hit me, WOW.. I was SO selfish..I am SO ungrateful. Look what he did for ME and ALL OF US.. it brought me to tears, no longer tears from the pain of what we found out was a kidney stone..but tears because of the absolute conviction my heart felt. Here I am yelling and hollering at everyone around me and complaining because I had to feel a little pain-- especially in light of what HE went through for me at the cross.  God knows US so well!! I mean he created us! And he knew the ONLY way to get me to finally see that  I  should not only just "want" him in my life..  I NEED him in my life. I cannot live this life without him!!  People tend to call on God in two situations.  1.) When they are happy and things are going great in their lives  such as, "Yay! I got a new job! Praise GOD!!" OR  2.) when things are going not so great in their lives-like, "oh no!! Please God help me!!"   He wants  to get our attention and it might  not be the in way WE choose to have him do it!   I am SO grateful for that kidney stone that day because by going through something that really wasn't even THAT horrible, he showed me what kind of person I am when the going gets tough! I definitely didn't praise him for the pain that I was going through! It was so easy to be thankful when my like was going "my way".  He also showed me that  I had a LOT of sin in my life!!  things that I didn't even realize!  It was a sin to blame God for one thing! It was a sin to be so utterly selfish and just plain rude to people who were JUST trying to help me. I was forced to look at my life though HIS life..his perfection. No, I can NEVER be perfect like him, but when he so graciously shows me areas in my life that I can change with HIS  help  that is an absolute GIFT! No matter what I go through in life, good or bad, he is with me through it all! I want to praise him now in ALL situations, not just when things are going well but even when things aren't going so well and in all the in-between moments! It is ALL a gift.. "Consider it ALL joy my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds" James 1:2 He DOES have a plan and sometimes we have to go through the valleys to get to where he wants us. "Give thanks in ALL circumstatances, for this is the will of God in Jesus Christ for you"- 1 thessalonians 5:18
    You might be thinking.."Sooo, what does any of this have to do with you wanting to move back to Ca?" well, i'll tell you! In my quiet time a few weeks ago I was really asking God for peace in the whole moving thing. It wasn't a specific prayer for staying OR moving, just peace in that he will be the one to control what happens and that I could let go and not be anxious about it anymore. The verse that struck me first was  "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said "I will never leave you or forsake you" - Hebrews 13: 5  Then I turned to "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God"- Phil 4:6
pretty amazing right??
  Over the next few weeks I was  hit with SO many things! Things that I had always known logically but suddenly they hit me in a different way. Seeing just how LUCKY and BLESSED we are here!....then REALIZING ALL the prayers God had answered!!  Why had I not realized this before? First, we finally have financial peace!  No, we aren't rich or anything like that but we are not struggling like we were before those "financial issues" God helped us reslove. If we move back to Ca..well lets just say we'd be ignoring all the progress God has seen us through and basically be getting a whole new set of issues because it is A LOT more expensive to live in Ca! Also, I'd have to go back to work and give up my dream of FINALLY being a SAHM! Remember how much I had wanted that? I was SOOO blinded by the very idea of moving that I  was willing to give up the dream I had finally been blessed to be living! Also, my husband is LOVING his job!!  he'd have to give that up which I now know he never really wanted to do but just said he did because he wanted to make me happy! God also blessed me with amazing women in my life here and  our children have known each other since they were babies! I have an awesome realtionship with some of my neighboors who are great friends and I know I can depend on! :) can you see God's work in all of this? I don't know why I never saw it this way before, but he has shown me now and I am beyond grateful! He put it all together with SUCH thought and such love and here I am willing to throw it ALL away! How ungrateful! Now..please don't think I am discounting the friends and family we have in Ca..that's NOT the case. Those people ( they know who they are) love me and will ALWAYS be in my life no matter where I live! God has that set in place too! He seriously thought of everything:) Amazingly enough, God also put it in my heart to love Arizona for it's beauty. WHAAAAA? those that know me are thinking, "YOU can't STAND it there!" By the grace of God I have been able to look around and see it's  beauty!! God created ALL things! Not just big trees and the ocean! He is everywhere I look now:) I am so thankful for my new  set of eyes he has given me. I wasn't able to see the forest for the well..lack of trees before. All I could see was what I DIDN'T have and focus on the LIE that the only way i'd be happy was to live somewhere else! DESPITE everything GOD has blessed us with right here in front of me! I cannot tell you have amazing it feels to just be at peace right where I am.  Scripture that suppots this for me- " For EVERYTHING God created is good, nothing is to be rejected if it is recieved through thanksgiving" - 1 Timothy 4:4 And there is his answered prayer number FIVE!
 God IS SO faithful ...even when I was and am SO UNfaithful. I fall short of God everyday you guys.. I really do. I am just SO beyond amazed at his grace and forgivness. He is just beginning his work in me and I know he won't stop until he is finished!
" Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ"- Phillippians 1:6
Thank you for reading this!:)

Korean beef and broccoli

Made this tonight and it was a really big hit with my boys! I make Korean hamburgers quite a bit and the recipe is pretty similar except you make little patties and fry them up.. This was so good this way and I added in some broccoli because the original recipe felt like it needed "something" My 2 year old is still sitting at the table with me as I type eating his third helping! I am going to put this in our weekly rotation because it took like 10 minutes to make and they really loved it! Mason my six year old kept saying "mommy you're the best cooker ever!" and also that I should get a gold medal for cooking! Gotta love that!!


Ing:
1lb LEAN ground beef or turkey ( must be lean or it will be greasy )
1/4- 1/2 c brown sugar
1/4 cup soy sauce (I use low-sodium)
1 Tablespoon sesame oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced
1 c small broccoli florets
1/2 - 1 teaspoon crushed red peppers (to desired spiciness)
salt and pepper
1 bunch green onions

Heat a large skillet over medium heat and brown hamburger with garlic in the sesame oil. Drain most of the fat and add brown sugar, soy sauce, ginger, salt and pepper and red peppers. Add broccoli..Simmer for a few minutes to blend the flavors and until broccoli is tender. Serve over steamed rice and top with green onions.